Hysterically triggered feminists are hyping up into overdrive about life preserving abortion legislation presently being introduced in the US. Many US states have recently introduced legislation to restrict access to abortion by specifying legally limiting factors to allow the procedure. The purpose of the legislation is to reduce the number of abortions in an attempt to preserve the lives of unborn babies, which those states see as excessive, cruel and unnecessary. Feminists see this as the patriarchy taking control of their bodies (psychotic delusions), so in their opinion, all men are to blame. In their mentally confused minds it has nothing to do with common human morality concerned about the treatment (murder) of unborn humans; a widely held view by both men and women in the community.

To highlight their rage about the loss of feminist convenience privilege (abortion) many high profile femi-loons have launched a joke attack against men and in particular men's genitals and masculine human rights. They're doing this in an attempt to bring public attention to the topic. Naturally, they have chosen extreme actions, which they claim is a joke strategy, but in truth, their suggestions come from long held pathological ambitions to cause hurt and misery to all men and deny men their greatest birthright: penis privilege. What follows is a quick run around of some of the ugliest women's suggestions presented recently to lauch their attack and express their heart felt wishes of what they'd really love to become reality (in their dreams).


Beth Newell — Penis Mutilator

Beth Newell is a 'satarist and comedian', and part-time penis mutilator.


If life begins at conception, maybe we should cut off all the dicks now

"Women can’t seem to keep their legs closed, sure. But men also can’t seem to keep their dicks out of women. So let’s just save ourselves from this ongoing debate by removing all the dicks from all the men one by one this instant."

Ha-Ha-Ha, funny joke.

So now, let's have a reverse joke, just for fun too: Women seem to want to keep their legs together, sure. But men enjoy putting their dicks in women. So let’s just save ourselves from this ongoing debate by raping and impregnating all these women one by one this instant.

Ha-Ha-Ha, another funny joke. And this feminist claims to be, apparently, a comedian. Sure.


Dar'shun Kendrick — Dominatrix Fantasizer

Kendrick is a member of the Georgia House of Representatives, Democrat, and part-time dominatrix fantasizer (and is somewhat keyboard challenged).


"Ggggooooodddd morning! Introducing my 'testicular bill of rights' legislative package. You want some regulation of bodies and choice? Done!"

The best that Kendick can come up with is a "testicular bill of rights", which roughs out five points as follows:

  • Require men to obtain permission from their sex partner before they are able to obtain a prescription for Viagra or any erectile dysfunction medication
  • Ban vasectomy procedures in Georgia, both in part or whole, with the name[sic] punitive measures for performing the procedue that are listed in HB 481
  • Make it an "aggravated assault" crime for men to have sex without a condom
  • Require DNA testing when a woman is 6 weeks and 1 day (to be performed before she is 8 weeks) to determine the father of the child who shall IMMEDIATELY start paying child support
  • A 24 hour "Waiting period" for men to purchase any porn or sex toys in the state of Georgia

Is this the best she could do? There is absolutely no logic in these things. They're mad. They're a contradictory scattergun list of bizarre feminist fantasies. She obviously put at least five minutes thought into coming up with them. Your tax payer dollars at work.


Park Cannon — 55yo Spermaphobe

Cannon is another member of the Georgia House of Representatives, Democrat and has an irrational phobia about 55yo men's ejaculate.

Belleville News-Democrat

Men would have to tell cops about every 'release of sperm' if this Georgia bill passes

A succinct, two-section bill introduced this week in the Georgia General Assembly would make men 55yo and older self-report each and every time they ejaculate — immediately, to the nearest law enforcement agency.

Mad. I tell you they're all mad. Total loonies. What's the point of this? Is there to be further legislation to make sperm ejaculation by men 55yo and older illegal? What's the point of reporting to police? What about wet dreams, when the guy doesn't know? Is this woman actually a member of the human race? Is she mentally competent? How could she have been elected? Are all the voters of her constituency all mad too? Too many questions left unanswered. But wait a minute, I get it, I think it's another one of those un-funny jokes see?


Diane Pappas — Castrator

Pappas is a member of the the Illinois House of Representatives, Democrat, and part-time feminist castration fantasizer.

DuPage Policy Journal

Diane Pappas sees castration as a solution to the abortion issue

"You know ladies, with technology the way it is, we wouldn’t have an abortion problem if we applied a plan," Pappas said, according to the report. "Now, I’ve been told it’s a bit radical, but if we allowed men to be castrated, took the sperm to the bank, collected tax dollars on it for storage, then when it’s time, to have the man decide he’s ready to begin a family... well then, problem is solved!".

Whoa! They just keep getting better, don't they? Check it out. We had touble fitting her into the 120 pixel graphic size. But what about the great new feminist dream Pappas-plan? You couldn't make this stuff up. The plan seems to be a bit short on detail, like all the others. These feminists don't think too deeply do they? Little thought bubbles must pop into their tiny minds and they go with it. Or maybe this is another un-funny joke. It's getting difficult to tell the funny jokes from the un-funny ones. They're all very much the same.


Alyssa Milano — Confused Abstainer

Milano is an actress apparently and likes strong-arm union tactics.

Hollywood Reporter

Alyssa Milano calls for sex strike in protest of abortion laws, ignites social media

"Alyssa Milano got people riled up on social media with a tweet Friday night, calling for women to join her in a sex strike to protest strict abortion bans passed by Republican-controlled legislatures."

Ah-ha! This Milano is starting to get the right idea, although she probably hasn't figured it out yet. If she and other women don't have sex, then there won't be any pregnancies and so there won't be any need for any abortions. See the legislation is working already. Milano's close to grasping the simple concept of abstinence. Fancy that. After all the decades of Roe vs Wade antagonism the light bulb of reason is starting to flicker, although we don't think that was what she had in mind at the time.


Evan Rachel Wood — Closet Spermaphobe

TV Performer and closet spermophobe sufferer.


Evan Rachel Wood suggests men get ‘Mandatory Vasectomies’ in response to Georgia 'Heartbeat' law

"Evan Rachel Wood took to Twitter over the weekend and joked that men should undergo mandatory surgical sterilization in response to Georgia’s 'Heartbeat' abortion law, which prohibits a woman from aborting her pregnancy in the state after a heartbeat is detected."

But then she (graciously – kind girly?) changed her mind.

"I dont want mandatory vasectomies because I don’t believe we should legislate peoples bodies, its a dangerous slippery slope." the HBO star said. "I used the example to point out the hypocrisy of always putting the responsibility, punishment, blame, or means of prevention, solely on women."

Oh, isn't that nice! Wouldn't you love being married to this little bundle of pure warm thoughts. It's enough to give a man nightmares. You'd just never know when her phobia might get the better of her and she goes for the gardening sheers while you're sleeping. What a kind lovely bitch. But then as Breitbart points out, it's just another one of those feminist un-funny, funny jokes.


So there you have it. And this is just the beginning of the "GREAT FEMINIST JOKE ATTACK". Keep watching the media for latest updates. We're sure there's going to be a lot more unfunny feminist jokes coming your way soon.

Thumbnail images above courtesy of the world wide web.